A SOLDIER'S STORY

13 dead 30 wounded. He was a psychiatrist but his mind was troubled. He was a Major but he was unable to lead. Many would have you believe that his religion was the reason, maybe, but maybe not. It takes a lot to be a soldier; it takes almost as much to be a soldier’s wife. No one knows the life we both have lived unless you've been there, done that. Do I regret it? – No. If given the chance would I go back tomorrow? – No.

“Boo, my unit is being deployed to Kuwait in 2 weeks.” I’d seen it happen to others but when I heard it in my own house then it became real. I heard a scream but I thought it was in my head until my neighbors ran through the door – I was crying, hyperventilating and pleading with God. We were in Germany and I’d just lost my mother 10 months earlier ~ life seemed so unfair. I found myself in the same daze that I was in when I came home to bury my mother; things were cloudy. I felt like I was losing my mind. I was forced to stay or risk losing housing if I came home. Stressed, depressed. That was my story…

He came over for dinner; a friend we’d met at Fort Bragg, N.C. In the Army you’re family and we look after our own. We met because we all lived in the same apartment complex and like family we found each other when we got overseas. They lived about two hours away but when you’re overseas that’s like being as close as Atlanta to College Park – we would pack a bag and spend the weekend; they would do the same. When they found out he was being deployed they had to send their 3 kids home to Alabama because she worked nights. Daily she cried for two reasons; her husband was going to war and she had to send her children home. They flew alone – they paid the cost – the military will only pay if you have orders. That was Malone’s story…

It played out like a scene from Army Wives. She was the wife of a Navy Seal with a young son about 5. She seemed a little ditzy to me; not the normal type of friend I would be drawn to. I often wondered why her husband could go to work in civvies and why he had a beard; my husband later explained. I can’t remember how we became close but I do remember sitting in her kitchen most mornings helping her search the newspaper. It became a habit; the least little article may have held a clue of his assignment. I realized that the ditzy was really her early afternoon bottles of wine; red eyes not from the wine but from crying every time her son asked why didn’t daddy say goodbye or tell him that he wasn’t coming home. He never told her goodbye. She would sit by the door waiting, sometimes he came, most times he didn't. Like Pam from Army Wives she left too. That was Karyn’s story…

It was her first child. A soldier married to a soldier. He was our homeboy and I was supposedly the only person that he ever saw his wife comfortable around; I made her laugh. She was pregnant when we met; they were having a little girl. Later he found out that he was being deployed even though he was soon to be a father, they prayed that he wouldn’t be sent before his child was born; he wasn’t, his orders said that he would leave 5 days after she was born. She was a new mom, prepared to watch her daughter crawl without her husband; 3 weeks after giving birth her orders said that she would leave after her 6 week check-up; they gave her 3 days to take her newborn to her mom. That was Lawson’s story…

He’d only been home a month. As they strolled through the PX a male soldier spoke, she spoke back thinking nothing of it. On the ride home he questioned her about the guy; she wasn’t sure what he was talking about. By the time they arrived home the conversation had turned into an argument, the argument turned into a fight. With hands clasped around her neck he forced her to the balcony threatening to throw her over onto the ground 15 feet below. PTSD was not an option back then; he was sentenced to 10 years. That was Eduardo's story…

Why am I saying this, well it’s by no means justification for the actions of the Major at Fort Hood nor am I making an excuse for him. When I think about him I don’t see the Muslim terrorist that he’s being labeled; I see a stressed individual that took the coward’s way out to prevent being deployed. I can’t tell you what he must have been thinking, but I can tell you what might have been going through his head the day before. Stress, Depression, Fear… Yes, life in the Army can deal you a hand that some days you can handle and some days you can’t. It can send you off to war in your right mind but bring you back depressed. It can send you off an innocent person but bring you back with blood on your hands. It can send you off trusting of others but bring you back looking over your shoulder. It can send you off with laughter in your heart but bring you back with tears in your eyes. In our minds once a soldier, always a soldier…to us the real meaning of the U.S. Army is (Uncle Same Ain’t Released Me Yet) ~Fort Hood, TX 2001-2003(Retired) TGBTG

I am a Soldier. Serving Proudly, Standing Tall.
I fight for freedom, by answering this call.
I do my job knowing the thanks it sometimes lacks.
Say a prayer that I'll come home.
It's me who has your back.
Author Unknown

~Stay Prayed Up!! Click on the Link