DROP 3 SIZES....

If I may borrow from one of my favorite comedians, Bernie Mack, “Okay America we’re all family, right?” If you remember I told you last week about my quest for “good hair,” well I decided this week to move on down the anatomy by trying this new craze called the Body Magic. I’m sure you’ve heard or have seen it and if you haven’t just check the link on my blog. It says I can “drop 3 sizes in 10 minutes.” I know…I know…I said the same thing too – Yeah right! But I had to give it a shot because it fell in line with my “alter ego.” I mean if you’re going to transform yourself you just can’t stop in one spot. You know what the Word says, “be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind” and the mind controls a whole lot of things so stopping in one spot is not a transformation. Now on to the story – when my Body Magic arrived I couldn’t wait to put it on especially since I’d seen the transformation on live models at least 5+ times by the time my box arrived. “Drop 3 sizes in 10 minutes…” did you catch the 10 minutes part? Normally 10 minutes is a short span of time if you are rushing because you need to be somewhere in 10 minutes. It’s a short span of time if I’m upstairs and need to remember to run down and pull the cornbread out of the oven in 10 minutes. In these two instances 10 minutes seems like 3 minutes but along comes the Body Magic. After researching this on Youtube and seeing this chick twice my size wiggle into the garment I felt like it would be a piece of cake. 10 minutes plus and six (6) hands later I FINALLY got this darn thing on; we pulled and pushed and squirmed and wiggled, I sweated, breathed hard and almost passed out from holding my breath. At one point I wanted to call the Fire Dept to bring in the Jaws of Life. After about 7 minutes I thought about taking it back off to see if I had the right size but the more I thought about it the more I envisioned that it would probably be easier to push a baby back into the womb than it would be to do this all over again. 10 minutes – whatever happened to 10 minutes seeming like 3 when you need it? Tug….pull…“grab it here Breyona. Shay you hold it while we pull.” Tug…pull…hop…wiggle. Who in the world thought about putting all of these little hooks on here? It must have been a man. “Can a sister get one with a zipper,” I wanted to scream but I couldn’t because I was too busy sucking it in. Is this part of my transformation really worth it? My mind was running to and fro – should I, should I not…but I continued because I was inspired by remembering how I’d seen for myself how this thing really changed the shape of others. PULL! I had a flashback of NeNe on the Real Housewives of Atlanta saying that she was a size 10. Snap, one hook…PULL! Snap, a couple more….I think I can, I think I can…My mind was on if NeNe is a size 10 then I gots (ebonics) to get this baby hooked all the way. If Mo Nique can pull off flat abs and no rolls….If this thing can raise breasts like Jesus raised Lazarus then I have to PULL!!

When all was said and done I was missing about 3 fingernails but it was well worth it. I felt like star on the red carpet as I put on my favorite winter sweater that had been folded in the drawer for almost 3 years. Looking at my before (yuck) and after picture in my sweater I became light headed; OMGosh, did I look like this? The last time I tried to wear this sweater I looked a hot mess not to mention it was like putting on the Body Magic in reverse; it was caught between my waist and shoulders and it probably took me 15 minutes to take it off. Whew…Anyway…like I was saying I literally lost 3 dress sizes in, less say, 12 ½ minutes. I couldn’t take my eyes off of me – I had a Betty Rubble figure, cleavage and my bottom was like Beyonce’s – speaking of Beyonce word on the street is that she wears this garment too. I couldn’t help spinning from the front to the back shocked that there were not visible lines not to mention rolls in my clothes. IT WORKED!!! This was certainly not my grandma’s girdle of yester year; this thing was like a second skin and after the first day it was soooo comfortable but the main thing was I was CUTE! I was nipped and tucked before my very own eyes and if the saying is true and I continue to wear this 4-6 hours a day it will reshape my body – now that’s a transformation! I’m sure you’re wondering if I am being gullible. Well believe me when I say (like I said on the last blog – you just can’t tell me anything). Plus I’ve seen it for myself with my own two eyes with another one of the distributors; she and I go back a little ways and I remember what she used to look like. I saw her walk into a room and I gasped. …if someone said to me that they saw her and she looked like this I would not have believed them or I would have assumed it was from having bypass surgery. Skeptics, yes, I’ve heard some skepticism from people but I am my own witness. According to my truck’s license plate I am ABLIEVR when God has shown me something for myself. I’ve seen, for myself, the impact that the nutritional items and the garments have made. I have friends that swear by the Levive and the Cran Aloe; these are mothers that give their children a dose of this every morning; they have nothing but great reports. I’ve also heard the story of the grandmother that used to have problems in her legs and was taking it because her daughter brought her a bottle to see if it would help; all she knew was that her pain was gone. These are the stories that I believe; stories from real people that I know personally. This is why I took 12 ½ minutes to put on my garment because I am ABLIEVR. Now can someone please go get my good hair? I can’t pull myself away from the mirror. Psst…and if someone can please call a preacher I can use some prayer to get this thing off… TGBTG

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